You Can Do This!

Homeschool and marriage

Jul 31, 2026

This is Chapters 8 and 9 of the book “The Basics of Learning and Homeschooling” and the course by the same name, which also includes videos and more.

You Can Do This!

You are qualified.

I have known many homeschoolers over the years. We are all unique. We all have different personalities. We have different reasons for homeschooling. We use different methods, have different styles, different ideas of what is right, what is important, and what is necessary. Some have been teachers in the past. Some have other career backgrounds. Some have always wanted to be wives and mothers, and homeschooling became part of that calling.

Whatever your personality, temperament, educational background, career background, or teaching experience, you can homeschool your children. If you have that desire or urge or feel that tug in your heart that you are called to homeschool your children, then God will enable you to do it well and to be the best teacher for your children. All it takes is the desire to do what’s best for your children and the willingness to learn along with your children.

If you come up against something that is beyond your ability to teach or explain, there are many online resources, videos on YouTube, DVD series, online classes, so many possibilities. Some are free, some charge a monthly fee. Some can be expensive. You can compare and choose what works best for you. You may even know someone who can help with a subject that is not your strong suit. But you are qualified and have the right to direct the education of your children.

It doesn’t have to be expensive.

There are free homeschool curriculum resources online, including some that are a full curriculum. There are others that are very reasonably priced. There are websites that offer electronic resources and downloads and printables that are free or very affordable. You should not let cost be a factor in choosing whether or not to homeschool.

It doesn’t have to take all day.

There are many options for scheduling and ways of using your time so that it only takes a couple of hours each day to get plenty of learning time in. Don’t think that you have to schedule time for every subject every day. Don’t try to make your schedule like a classroom schedule in a school. Homeschooling is more like tutoring. You don’t have the distractions or classroom management problems or paperwork that classroom teachers have to deal with. So your on-task time doesn’t need to be more than 2 or 3 hours, less with younger children. You should gauge the amount of time you should spend on a subject by your child’s attention span and interest and ability. Don’t make them work past the threshold of their attention span or ability. And you should really try to keep them interested and excited about what they are learning and not insist on a certain amount of time but go by their body language and eagerness or lack thereof to determine how much time and even whether a subject is something you need to assign them to do at the moment.

You can do it even if you have a job outside the home.

When your children are young, this may be more difficult since someone else might have to be the one to direct the teaching time while you are at work. Or you could teach them after you get home from work. I know people who work outside the home but still homeschool their children. It may not be easy, but if you are determined you can find a way to make it happen. When your children get older they can do much of their work on their own, and then you can just check in with them when you get home to make sure that they are moving forward in their education.

You won’t mess up your kids for life.

On the contrary, you are doing the best thing for them. Think about what you are saving them from. You are keeping them from bullying in a place where nobody is there to advocate for them. Kids in public school or other institutional settings are on their own. Parents often don’t know what their kids are going through when they are away from them interacting with a bunch of strangers with lots of different ideas and values and many young people who are immature and possibly susceptible to mob mentality. Don’t worry about that age-old objection to homeschooling - socialization. We all know what comes with that. Lots of negative stuff.

Your children can experience caring, appreciation, support, edification, and motherly love at home in your home school. The chances of them coming out with their self-image intact are greatly increased. It’s up to you how you want to set the atmosphere in your home. But I would be willing to bet it’s going to be a safer, more secure atmosphere than at a school.

And academically, they will flourish if you give them the tools and resources they need to learn all that they can. Teach them to read and write and do arithmetic, then provide lots of good books for them to learn from.

If you do that you have given them a great foundation. What they choose to do from there is up to them. But you certainly will not have messed them up in any way.

You don’t have to know everything.

In fact, it’s impossible to know everything! Nobody knows everything! Not even teachers in public or private schools. Not even college professors or Ph. D’s. So why would you think you have to know everything about every subject to be able to teach your child at home? There are so many ways to learn what you want to know about everything now. The internet, thousands of books at the library, probably more books in your own home than you could possibly read (if you’re anything like me). There are lots of options and possibilities for learning. Just ask Google or Siri! So don’t worry if there’s something you’re not good at, don’t understand, or can’t explain. Ask someone or something else. You can find a way to get answers and help for your students. Knowledge has never been easier to access.

So don’t let this fear stop you.

You Can Do This!

This is the best thing you could ever do for your children. And it doesn’t have to be difficult. You make it how you want it to be. It’s your deal. Do it the way that works best for you and your family. Ask God to help you figure out what that way is for each of your kids. He will help you. He is very supportive of homeschooling. He loves you and your kids and will help you every step of the way. You and God can do this!

Action steps:

1. Purge your mind of negative thoughts about your ability to teach your child. Read good books on the subject, like books by Diana Waring, Ruth Beechick, and Sarah Mackenzie.

2. Research and read about different approaches and styles. Look through curriculum catalogs and read descriptions of how they are set up.

3. Solidify your reason for homeschooling, so that you can defend your decision to others and to yourself when you start to doubt because things are hard.

4. Give yourself a break and don’t be too hard on yourself or your kids.

5. Make sure your expectations are realistic.

6. Purge your mind of how you have always thought school had to be done to be done correctly.

7. Find out what works for you. Experiment with different activities, different settings, unorthodox teaching methods, have fun with your kids, explore, let them lead, and keep the objective in mind that you want them to learn what they need for their future and what interests them, not what is covered in a certain book or curriculum.

Chapter 9

Homeschooling and Marriage

Roles of Husband and Wife

A good way to start out your homeschool journey is to have a planning weekend with your spouse. It would be a great time to get away from home with your spouse and possibly with your children. If you want to take your children, there are a couple of ways to handle it. If your children are older, they can swim and play while you plan things that they are not involved with. Then when you are ready to discuss things that directly involve them, you can have them participate in the planning and give their input. If your children are young, you can take a babysitter or grandparent along to watch the kids while you and your spouse are doing the planning, then all of you can do fun things together afterwards.

Discuss your expectations for the roles the husband and wife will play in your home and in your homeschool. You will want to consider how to balance the daily tasks so that neither one is overly burdened with the care of the house or the children. You will also want to think about how each of you expects homeschooling to take place in your family.

Even if the husband is the primary breadwinner, he should do some of the work that is needed to keep the house clean and the basic needs provided. There are too many things to be done for one adult to do, even if some of the children can help with chores. Being with the children all day without adult conversation can be wearing on a mother. And cleaning up for them and meeting all of their needs can be physically tiring. A husband should observe the energy level and the tasks that need his attention so that he can help his wife

Family

Care of children

The first thing you will probably want to address is the care of the children. The mother will most likely carry the bulk of the responsibility just because she is with them more. She has the personality and temperament to be a nurturer in general, so she will do many of the tasks and keep her finger on the pulse of how the children are doing.

Home

Cooking
Cleaning

Groceries
Relationship care

B. Homeschool

Agree on approach
Schedule and routine
Priorities and expectations
Evaluation methods
Extent of involvement of father in homeschooling

II. Set expectations

A. Home

Make Marriage the highest priority
Time together as a couple
Identify needs of husband so that he feels taken care of
Identify needs of wife so that she feels taken care of
Decide how to divide up care of the children and household
Decide when and how homeschooling happens
Think about how to transition to family time
Make sure household responsibilities and dinner are taken care of in a way that is acceptable to husband and wife